Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Axis Of Just As Evil
******************************

Courtesy of: SatireWire

-Angered by snubbing, China, Libya, and Syria form "Axis Of Just As Evil"-

Beijing--Bitter after being snubbed for membership in "The Axis Of Evil,"
China, Libya and Syria today announced they had formed "The Axis of Just As Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that lame Iran-Iraq-North Korea Axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union Address.

Axis of Evil members however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as not having a flashy name and are merely copycats.

"Right. They are Just as Evil...In their dreams!"
Declared North Korean leader, Kim Jong il.
"Everybody knows that we are the real evildoers...We're the best!"

Diplomats from Syria denied they were Jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did submit an application to Join The Axis Of Evil.

"They told us all positions were taken," said Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained former President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, It's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the Evil Axis. So you can only have three members, And a secret handshake.
Ours is wickedly cool.

The Axis Pandemic
-----------------------------

International reaction to Bush's Axis Of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumverate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.

Cuba, Sudan and Serbia said they had formed "The Axis Of Somewhat Evil,"
Forcing Somalia to Join Uganda and Myanmar in "The Axis Of Occasionally Evil,"
While Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established "The Axis Of Not So Much Evil, Really!
Just Generally Disagreeable."

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up,
Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called "The Axis Of Countries That Aren't The Worst, But There's Hope.

Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed "The Axis Of Nations That Are Quite Nice, But Secretly Harbor Nasty Thoughts About America."

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps mocking him,
a cautious Bush granted approval for most Axes, although he rejected the establishment of "The Axis Of Countries Whose Names End In "Guay," accusing one of it's members of filing a false application.

Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Venezguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to Join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because they were never invited.

No comments: